she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
