I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
