I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
