But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
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