"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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