oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
