Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
