Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
