Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
