just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
