Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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