they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
