were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
