thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
