she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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