I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
