we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
