I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize