we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
