We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
