your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize