I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize