I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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