I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Randomize
