I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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