yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
