She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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