Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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