o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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