the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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