you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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