I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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