we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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