I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm passing your future prison.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
