I must be too annoying 4 u.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
