Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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