covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
