Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
