I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
the gays at disneyland are vicious
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
