we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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