okay pat passed out under dana's car
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
