road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize