oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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