I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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