yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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