And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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