You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
