How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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