just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
