in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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