Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
