I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
