i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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