Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
