dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
