Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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