So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
