if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
