First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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