Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
