you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize