you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Panties = found
Randomize
