So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
