So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize