Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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