White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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